While waling in a decrepit part of the area down a frontage road that follows the highway I was improving song and looking at the ground any random crap of interest as I walked [NOTE: you see unkempt guy fixedly staring in slow wide arcs while, unless you are pretty close, it looks like he's talking to himself- yup I'm THAT guy, the one you cross the street to avoid not really afraid of but 'just to be on the safe side']. I live in a heavy agriculture dominated zone of California so on the highway are constantly loud semi trucks- made louder by that a lot pick up their first load here and are light which makes them bounce and rattle- this becomes important in a moment. Approaching an overpass that the highway crosses over railroad tracks where the road I am on ends at I see a teen girl of significant beauty.
Teen girls of significant beauty tend to look at me with this 'oh fuck, I dont need to start running, do I?' look in their eyes which I find a tad nauseating on a number of levels all at once so I have a tendency to just simply avoid looking at them rather than see a dozen or so negative human social fuck ups all at once [from beauty needing to be afraid, to the unspoken question 'are you going to try to...'- fucking yuck exponentially for each sad thing entailed].
I cross the track tuning out the girl amidst the highway noise and SUDDEN BAAAAAMMMM of a airhorn- not 40 feet from me is a locamotive going at like 40mph or so is about to smear me for the next mile before I can finish the 'f' in 'wtf'. Thankfully I am pretty athletic and in shape with a life of playing reflex games like hack-sack and freeclimbing because I didn't think 'wtf' instead I did a tiny hop and fell wind tug my clothes as the thing nearly grazed me before I hit the ground.
Here's the funny part: I looked over at the girl who had this 'OMG!' bugeyed look on her face and I reflexively went back to the slow pace looking at ground for stuff walking as if THAT didn't just happen.
Hahahaha- adrenalin didn't kick in for another 15 or so steps which means the socio-conditioning to appear okay fooled the body for over 10 second into believing it, but then the body went 'Waaaaait a second that DID JUST HAPPEN!" and flooded me with fight/flight drugs.
I find that to be high comedy.





















