Life like a swift
dizzy downhill tumble
fumbling to grasp something more solid
than grass and pebbles all
head over heels

Catch air
and breathe
in snapshot
silence. At peace
in chaos. A man,
an island,
an ocean.

No falls hurt until the landing so
I work on learning to soar-
more or less the pipe dream
of a thing moored
to mores
that plant reeds on shores
not forms
in flight;
despite that, I set task toward attainment
of that lightness
in hollow boned cores
of those who were born
to adorn the clouds.

Mean fate and inertial weight
set course for disaster and demise, so
it'll be no surprise
since Im seeing it grow
embroidered into every shadow,
interlaced with every light.
I think I might die
when im not pining to the sky so
for this moment
I delight
in futile
freefall
hopes of flight.

-revscrj

Been a long stretch since I have been on this site- much to my regret, really.

Rather than bore you all with the grueling details of the past couple of years I will just encapsulate it.

A couple years back I contracted a disease that only a few months ago has been officially recognized as a disease by the CDC. This means that I have spent the time being misdiagnosed, given drugs which did nothing and had the disease worsen. I almost died in the ER of a local hospital waiting for them to call my name. Almost lost my right arm to it. "It" is called Morgellon Disease and no one knows what it is except that it creates a fiberous growth in ones body that bears no resembalance to anything synthetic nor organic that has been previously recorded. Basicly, they know it has sulphur in it and that it grows, but it doesnt have any of the elements of life to it. Its composition is such that it can hold water in the form of a tetrahedron. It causes lethargy so extreme its sometimes like narcolepsy. Theories range from: bioweaponry gotten loose, nanotech warfare, mutant cotton worms, interstellar fungus, to a mutated bacteria formerly used to clean up oil spills and sewage leaks. No one knows...

Hahaha- isn't that just freaking horrific!? Man! I am so freaking glad I have lived a large part of my life with a detached-from-the-physical perspective or else I'd really be mighty f**ked up over this. I find it fascinating, disturbing, horrific and funny.

Thank God for a dark sense of humor.

<3
REVSCRJ

---------
Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Offenseless
Listening to: Something distant but familiar
Reading: bones thrown for divinatory purposes
Watching: The second hand

When I was small
I used to fantasize
about being bodiless
without form.

I do not remember the exact moment I realized I would never fly
but I distinctly remember forever after it.
rivers have been loosed in tears
for that knowledge.

Today
before you
as a man
I try to forget that for a moment but
I will fail
because truth is more important to me than you
than my own happiness
than flight.

-<3
REVSCRJ

---------
Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Strangely placid
Listening to: All of my days- by Sean Corkery
Watching: A world grow slowly

On another website I was spammed by a "girl" who said:

"I love ur pix, ur soooo cute- I have some too" <--linked to a porn site. I replied this:

----snipity-----

....I figure you are a spammer, which is fine by me- better bandwidth than paper a la junkmail of old- I also figure that you are male as a real woman who was actually interested would have made at least one comment regarding actual personal information accessible on my home page and not linked to a facial cumshot paysite front as an introduction. Generally its only men who'd find that appropriate.

I realize that this only informs you thus making you potentially a better spammer but here's the deal: I used to be an advertiser, a good one, because I have keen insight into the way people work as well as a genuine ability to empathize with a person wholisticly. One day I realized that where I was seeing weakness I could have been teaching strength instead of trying to prey upon it. After that realization I discovered that unintentionally I was part of what makes the human world suck on the general overall and I stopped doing it. I hope that one day you have the same realization.

Likely you won't read this, let alone take it to heart, but I do my part to try to help people wherever I can these days- even if the chances of sucsess are negligible.

Peace
<3
REVSCRJ

--snip---snip-----

I post this because I would encourage yall to do similiar when you come across obnoxious or deceptive things like that as often they are not the result of real ill intent or true decrepit grossness, but rather a level of ignorance in regard to how one affects the world, or an apathy toward that effect. Ultimately niether of which are really worth your anger/rage/stress unless you really have nothing else better to do with your time, and even then: only as a way to pass time not to internalize.

Like most of the things that one can do that will have the greatest positive effects on the world you will never see the ramifications or fruition of your actions*, but perhaps if this sort of thing is done enough we might feel a micrometer** more happy with existance as a whole, and the next generation a centimeter and so on.

-----------------------
*this may seem like a cosmic cruelty at first glance but I believe that it is really more so that one who habitually is trtying to do good is doing so for the right reasons- none of which have to do with kudos, sudden solving of the worlds problems, credit, or accomplishment but rather is doing good simply because that is what *one should do*

** Which, even this, isn't likely- but if those that came before us had been... well, this world would be a much better place specieally speaking

<3
REVSCRJ

---------
Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Annoyed
Listening to: A damn jingle
Reading: My minds
Watching: aghast

Burgers in Hell
-----------

Okay so to preface this: I hurt my back trying to move my dog last week and have been laid up from it so thus I have been watching a lot of TV- something I usually avoid. I say this so the following doesn't sound like the derranged rant of a media junkie, but more the astonished incredulity of an invalid.... which I think might be better...

Anyway, there is this GODDAMNED Burger King commercial that has been playing recently which features a song promoting their new chicken-parts liver poisoning sandwich. Since the thing has Ranch dressing the commercial attempts to create a whimsical never-neverland that is a Ranch bearing the name of the sandwich. This jingle is DRIVING ME UP THE FREAKING WALL as it just will not get the hell out of my skull... but you don't care about that, I understand, no offense taken. A side effect of this is that I have listened to the lyrics completely and here is the world they paint as fairytale and idylic:

[sung] "I love the chicken tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch where the breasts they grow on trees"

This is accompanied by a half-shirted buxom woman plucking a burger off a tree making the male viewer think 'Duh.. Breassssstssss...' presumably.

Imagine the forest floor of a woods that bore meat fruit. The overwhelming mass rot, the stench, the fly larva CHRIST the FREAKING FLY SWARMS thick like smoke! Gasses like methane would build up beneath the surface in pockets so that on a good hot day fireballs might occasionally errupt from the corpulecent terrain. So "the breasts" refer to chicken breasts... are these living headless limbless chickens with beating hearts circulating grease and ranch dressing? Hey Dante- you missed a circle.

"...bacon tumbleweeds and the streets are cheddar paved..."

There are uncooked (!!) massive bacon strips depicted in the back ground during this scene that seem to move more like a snake or an eel than a wind blown dead bush. So in the afforementioned hellscape we also have uncooked pork 'roaming' the grown-battered-and-fried chicken flesh forests following the fuzzy green molded cheese roads who would conceal bacteria pools of softness where one might sink into like quicksand. Despite that possibility of drowning in a lactose rot soup, these road would likely be safer and less insect infested than trail blazing through the carcass canopied backcountry... but only by a little.

If you think for a moment about this you will realize that the sheer volume of cheese required to make the multilayered 'yellow-soon-black-brick-road' is absolutely staggering. The amount of cows and labor hours in milking and churning to create the bricks and then those spent building a gravel levy (as I am sure the dank burbling stew of decay for a ground wouldnt support the weight very well) and then paving it with the blocks requires an army of people and a legion of bovines. I ask myself "why the f**k would a massive amount of people orchastrate their energy to that end?" Well, it hinges on this:

"...there's a King that want you to have it your way..."

Depicted is a guy in a red courtly outfit with a disturbing full-head-covering mask with blank blackish eyes that bear no sign of humanity in them. Lets look at what this creature (who is oddly remnicient of a 1930's-40's stop action short Devil character I saw a long time ago... coincidence? You be the judge...) who is king over this abomnible world wants: 'you to have it your way'. The phrase 'have it your way IS the company slogan BUT it is also used in common speach when a person insists on doing something harmful to themselves despite the attempts of another to convince them not to. When the person gives up trying to stop them they say "Okay then-have it your way" This 'King-in-Red' WANTS YOU to have it your way... to follow the road of self destruction... to:

"...veg all day, no one asks you too behave"

In other words to reach a state of inability to act- paralysis by fattness- while having no kin, friends or community who would help to enforce a mutual moral code.

Decadent
Distracted by lechery
Gluttonous
Estranged from others
Slothful

...they have said the road to hell is paved in gold, but I believe they must have been looking from a distance as I think it might have been cheese they were looking at...

Rev "Shudders" Scrj
---------------------------
Tangent: I wonder if someone has been slipping me low dosages of a hallucinigenic... kidding, kidding- I've been this way since I was a child